Vehicle: 2025 Ford Expedition Trim: Platinum Miles: 12000 MSRP: $80,000 Color: White Oh my fucking god. Welcome to hell. I drove this swollen minivan for ≈80 miles, so I got to know all its “quirks” (that’s industry slang for “stupid shit that somehow made it through design, manufacture and QA”). I guess we should start…

Vehicle: Hyundai Genesis G80 Trim: 3.5T Sport Prestige (lol) Miles: 3,500 MSRP: $75,000 Color: Light Gray What a strange vehicle. What a strange, strange vehicle. It’s sort of a luxury/performance vehicle. I mean, that’s how it’s marketed Unless you have the—yes this is actually what they call it—”sport prestige” trim, this thing feels pretty sluggish…

Vehicle: Toyota Camry Trim: Hybrid SE Miles: 4 MSRP: 34,000 Color: White A brand-new, never-driven, ’25 Toyota with all the fixins. As I hop into the seat, I think: not bad. The human interface control suite—the UI—is pretty good for a modern car; there are physical buttons for almost all basic functions. Almost all. The…

Vehicle: Chevy Corvette Trim: Z06 Miles: 15k MSRP: $115,000 Color: Red I drove a mid-engine car that wasn’t a Porsche. It was a Chevy! This is a slick little beast. If you like sitting really low the with the engine peaking over your shoulder (I do), then you’re in luck. If you also like searching…

Vehicle: Jeep Wrangler Trim: Rubicon Miles: 34k MSRP: $47,000 Color: White Welp, drove a Jeep Rubicon. They should actually call it the Jeep Carrhae. Because it gets annihilated by superior technology and serves as a warning to future civilizations. This thing is priced like a premium, luxury/performance vehicle. Hilarious, but I don’t think most people…